Confronting the Past
by love2readfanfic
Summary: Donna must confront her past after a family tragedy forces her back to Madison. How will Josh react to a secret she has been holding on for twenty years.
1. Bad news

Disclaimers: I do not own any of these characters they belong to John Wells, Aaron Sorkin and NBC...but thanks for letting me borrow them...

Josh Lyman looked around his desk for the folder on the crime bill he needed for his meeting with Senator Williams later that afternoon. Unable to find it, he bellowed for his assistant.

"DONNA, where is the folder on the crime bill? I need it for the thing with Williams and I cant find it anywhere." When all he got was silence he bellowed again. "DONNA! I need the folder for thing with Williams!"

As he got up and walked toward his door looking for his assistant, he still didn't find Donna.

"She's not here," Ryan explained as he handed Josh the requested folder from Donna's desk.

"Why the hell not?" Josh asked, The frustration growing in his voice. "Where did she go? I need her to type up some notes for my meeting at 5 with Congressman Santos." Just as Josh was getting ready to question Ryan more about where his missing assistant was, CJ walked out of her office and took him by the arm into his office for some privacy.

"She got a phone call today," CJ told him after a long pause. "Josh, her father died."

Josh sucked in a sharp breath, feeling as if someone had punched him in the stomach. "Oh no," he breathed, running a hand through his unruly brown hair, unsure what to do, what to say, what to think. He felt CJ's hand on his elbow, she helped him into the visitors chair and leaned down to talk to him. "I need to talk to Leo," quickly picking up the phone. _I need to be there for her_, he thought frantically to himself. "Margaret, I need five minutes with Leo," Josh begged.

Margaret knew something was wrong but didn't ask Josh what was going on. "He has two minutes now but you will have to be quick since he has a full schedule after that."

Josh walked quickly through the bullpen straight for Leo's office. It was all CJ do to keep up with Josh. She wanted to give him moral support since she knew Josh wouldn't be any good to anybody while Donna was hurting.

Only the senior staff, senior assistants and first family knew that Josh and Donna were a couple. It was starting to get serious but after all the administration had been through Josh and Donna both thought it best that they not flaunt it. If they were asked they wouldn't lie about it, but they also didn't go out of their way to publicize it. After dating for only about six months they were practically living together.

Stopping at the outer door to Leo's office Josh collected himself and knocked on the door. CJ stopped and filled Margaret in what was going on she knew she would rally the other assistance to help with Josh's office while he and Donna were out.

"Leo," Josh called to his mentor, slightly wheezing and out of breath from walking so fast from the bullpen to Leo's office.

Leo could see that something was going on with his Josh. "Okay Josh you have two minutes. What's so important that it couldn't wait?"

"It's Donna." Josh's entire body seemed to sigh with that statement.

"What about her?" Leo asked, becoming increasingly worried.

"Her father died this afternoon.

"Oh no, how, what happened?"

"I actually don't know all the details. I've been on the hill all afternoon and she was gone when I got back. CJ filled me in when I got back."

"Someone from Wisconsin called her," CJ tried to explain but didn't have a whole lot of details of what had happened. "I just know that father was in some kind of accident. She was pretty shaken up I let her go I told her I would let Josh know when he got back."

"Leo, I'm going be out for a few days and I will farm out what needs to be and have someone reschedule the rest. She needs me," Josh pleaded with his mentor to let him go."We have to clear it with the President." Leo knew that wasn't the answer his deputy was looking for. "Hang on, let's see if he has a few minutes free right now." Leo knocked on the connecting doors between his office and the oval.

"Enter" was the reply from the other side of the door.

"Sir, do you have a few minutes for Josh?" Leo asked the leader of the free world.

"Sure, come on in," President Bartlet beckoned them into the Oval. "What's on your mind Josh?" The President could see that something was up the way his deputy was fidgeting.

"It's Donna, sir."

"Josh, what happened to Donna?" The president asked, suddenly worried about his deputy's assistant.

"Her father died, sir."

"Oh no." The president could see the sadness in Josh. He remembered back to what Josh had gone through when his father had died. "Do you have anything on your schedule that can't be farmed out or postponed?" Just as Josh was about to answer the President, Toby and Sam walked into the Oval Office.

"We heard about Donna's father."

"Let her know how sorry we are and that we are here if she needs anything. Toby and I will have Ginger and Bonnie farm out the stuff that needs to be dealt with now and reschedule anything else," Sam quickly spoke up knowing that Josh just wanted to get out of there.

"Looks like we have things under control Josh, go be with Donna, and give her our sympathy." The President nodded his head towards Josh, letting him know it was okay for him to attend to Donna.

"Thank you sir," he turned and headed straight for his office. He grabbed his cell phone and laptop and stuffed them in his backpack, making a mad dash out of the White House. Josh wasn't sure which apartment Donna would go to, so he headed to his apartment since most of her stuff was there anyway.

Donna didn't know how long she'd been sitting there, nor did she care. She barely remembered getting home, all her memories blurring from the moment she answered her cell phone. It had been an ordinary day up to then, she had been working on the crime bill notes for Josh. She had just finished the note cards for the meeting when _it_ happened. She recognized the number that flashed up - it was her brother in Madison. He was the only one she kept in contact with and therefore the only one with her cell phone number and that alone was enough to start her heart to beating faster. She walked into Josh's office for privacy. She knew this wasn't going to be good since she had hardly spoken to her family since she left Madison to join the campaign. They didn't understand her decision to leave and were angry at her for doing so.

She tensed up when she heard the voice on the other end of the line, a voice from her past. The news hit her hard, like being stabbed in the heart with a dull knife.

She'd listened to the words as they stole her breath away, feeling like the wind was being kicked out of her. She had tried to run from her past and the things that happened in Madison. The secrets she had buried deep in her mind that nobody could get to. There were things that happened in Madison that no one - not even Josh - knew about. She loved Josh but was afraid that he wouldn't love her if he knew the real reason she left Madison. She had used Brian aka Dr. Freeride as an excuse to why she left that all behind and join the campaign. If she had her way, nobody would even know the truth and definitely not Josh. The walls that she'd built up so high around her past were crumbling into dust. She couldn't keep her knees from giving out on her she feel to the floor with a thud. The memories came back to her full force. Years of hiding and running from it the details flashed into full color in her mind, The voice had asked her gently if she was all right, and she remembered him asking her that question so many years ago; a lifetime ago, back when she was a different person. She'd simply replied, "I'll be there as soon as I can," before hanging up the phone, she continued sitting on Josh's floor staring at her phone.

She had thought that she'd done a decent job at pulling herself together, but it must have been worse than she'd thought, because when CJ walked into Josh's office she reacted immediately.

"Donna, what's wrong?" She asked. "Are you ok? Is it Josh?"

Her questions were soft and gently CJ took Donna's hands into hers. "No," she'd told her. "No CJ, Josh is fine…"

"Then what-"

Her hands shook and her heart was beating a mile a minute. She tired to gather the strength to tell CJ what happened, but the words simply would not come out. CJ helped Donna into Josh's chair and took her hands in hers once again and waited for her to answer the question. "My father died," she said simply, CJ's face had registered sympathy and dismay and a thousand other emotions all in a second.

"Oh God Donna, I'm so sorry…"

CJ grabbed Donna into a hug and held on to her Donna willed herself not to cry in front of CJ. She had to be strong - she was at work after all. Donna who wasn't ready to face her family or the loss of her father knew that her past was going to come crashing into her present and possible her future with Josh and there was no way of stopping it now.

"I need to get out of here." She told CJ.

"Go," she said. "I'll tell Josh." She'd nodded, and made her way grabbing her purse from her desk and quickly making her way outside to the chilly November rain.

She wasn't sure of where she was going, leaving her car in the employee's lot, she began to walk. After walking for a while she ended up in one of her and Josh's favorite spots, the Lincoln Memorial. Sitting in the cold rain she tired to tried to figure out what she was feeling; trying to make sense out of her life both past, present, and future. She wondered if Josh had made it back to the White House yet. She left without leaving a note or anything he was going to be worried hopefully CJ talk to him. After sitting the monument for a few more minutes, she started walking again not sure of where she was headed now. She was numb. She and her father didn't have a good relationship in fact she couldn't stand him and what he had done to her but now he was dead and she wasn't sure of what how she felt. She was tired and wet, so after walking to Josh's townhouse she changed her clothes, made phone calls and a soothing cup of herbal tea, That led her to her present position - sitting in Josh's living room, perched on the edge of the couch, shoulders hunched, whole body wound tight as a spring. The silence of the room was broken only by the ticking of the clock on the wall and the beating of her heart, and she stared at the photograph that she was holding, her mind years away, trying to remember how things had been once upon a time, before everything had fallen apart.

She held a photograph that was taken during one of the family's only vacations, a handsome young blonde man in a white T-shirt and blue jeans, his arm around a woman with short curly hair and sparkling green eyes. The man was holding in his arms a little blonde haired girl, who was all of one. There were three other children in the picture a dark haired two little boys all of seven and five with green eyes sitting in the sand playing happily and a little girl who was all of three with dark black hair and green eyes who was standing beside her mother. They were a young family clearly, but happy, looking as if they had the world in front of them, as if this picture was the first chapter in a long and happy family history.

This picture spoke of the happier times in Donna's life. It was one of the reasons why Donna was who she was. She'd known all her life how deceiving appearances could be.

She knew that the family here was never this happy again, maybe hadn't even been that happy then. Her father, an insurance salesman from Madison, older than his wife by a good ten years, was already starting to drink more than he should. The picture was taken reasonably close up. This was one of the few pictures that Donna had of her childhood, because once things started to get bad she would only be around her family when absolutely necessary. Her mother was hardly around and didn't seem to care about her children. Indeed, there were times when she barely seemed to remember that she had children at all. But when her mother was around she could be just as mean as her father. Her father meanwhile went from his job to the bar, only coming home after being so drunk he could barely stand up, reeking of liquor.

Donna had thought that was normal- that everyone's mother and father were like hers. Then she went to school, and as she got older, she realized that that wasn't so. Donna wondered if living in a city like Madison was a curse or a blessing. People busy with their own lives not paying attention to what others were doing. They would be so busy with their own lives that they would never find out what she hide deep in side of her. But on the other hand nobody would ever find out and stop it. They wouldn't be able to keep her safe. Donna was smart, so she put all her attention into school and knew that someday she would escape the things in her life. She was "daddy's little princess" for a while. She learned that a quick mind, a ready smile and a good dash of charm could go a long way with people, and when she reached her teenaged years, she realized that a toss of her long blonde hair didn't hurt either, and no-one had ever seen the bruises, had ever questioned why she was as thin as she was, why she stayed out so late at night, why she acted the way she did. Her brothers and sisters knew where to hide or they would just leave the house and find things to do. Being the youngest she was stuck there to be the punching bag.

No one ever had to tell her to cover up for her parents. She did it because she knew what would happen if she didn't, she knew no one would ever believe what she told them about what he did to her night after night. She just wanted the pain to end. She wanted to forget everything that happened in that house. Her mother neglected chores and cooking and basic hygiene. It didn't matter if Daddy came home drunk, didn't matter if he took the belt to one of the kids for some transgression, real or imagined. There were other secrets ones that she kept deep in her heart. They were still her parents, still her family, and that meant something to her.

Besides, Daddy wasn't drunk all the time, and when he wasn't, he was the man in that photograph, the man who smiled at his little girl and worshiped the ground she walked on. He would help her with her homework, he would tell her about his work. It had been weeks, months later when she'd remembered the color of the man's skin, at the same time that a thousand other jigsaw pieces began slotting neatly into place.

It had been almost eleven years since she'd seen him, and they'd parted bitterly, Daddy's little girl a little girl no longer, and no longer Daddy's. He'd made that perfectly clear, and her last words had told anyone who broached the subject with her that she didn't care. She'd left that place, made a new life for herself, reinvented herself completely, and she'd never looked back. Not much anyhow.

Now she didn't have a choice.

The silence of the apartment was shattered by a key scraping in the lock, by the front door opening and a familiar voice calling out, "Donna? You here?"

She stood up slowly, noting the urgency in his voice, she moved to the end of the couch, waiting for him to come into the room. She smiled just a little when she saw him, her hand still clutching the picture, he dropped his backpack on to the ground and looked deep into her blue eyes. "Are you ok?" was his first question as he came towards her, arms open, and she moved into them and let him hold her. She knew she was going to have to face her past and it was going to be rough. She didn't know if Josh would be able to handle it, but right now she just wanted him to hold her. To make her feel safe.

"Who told you?" she asked taking in his scent and letting his arms hold on to her.

"CJ." His voice was gentler this time. "I got back from the hill early and CJ pulled me aside and told me what happened. I was so worried about you! Why didn't you call me?"

''I'm sorry I didn't call you but I knew how important this meeting was to you and didn't want to interrupt you."

"Don't worry about that now." He held on to her as he moved her over to the couch so they could get comfortable. "What you got there?"

She looked down at the picture, a tiny smile appearing on her face. "Yesterday," she told him, tilting the picture in his direction, so he could see it better.

"She looks like you," " he observed in surprise, and she nodded, because she'd heard that every day for eighteen years.

"The Moss genes. It's a family thing." She never spoke of her past, with good reason, the thought of sharing her past scared the hell out of her.

"You were a beautiful baby."

She ducked her head, blushing, turning the photograph back towards her.

" I know there is something that is bothering you. Want to talk about it?"

She wanted so badly to talk to him about it. But she knew she couldn't talk to him about it, not yet. She didn't know if she'd be able to handle almost twenty years of bottled up emotion, and she didn't know if he could either. She was so afraid that it would scare him so bad that he would take off. She loved him so much and wanted to protect him from her demons. She knew that she was going to have to face those demons, but she didn't know if she was strong enough.

She took a deep breath, she wanted so bad to tell him but the words just wouldn't come out she finally managed to choke out. "I can't…I mean, I just…I…"

"Hey….sweetheart, it's ok…" He held her tighter in his arms the tears she had been holding back finally fell. She only allowed her self to cry a little bit. She was afraid that if she started now she wouldn't be able to stop and she wasn't ready for that. His strong arms around Donna's shoulder gave her the comfort she so desperately needed. "I'm here for you okay?"

"Whatever you need, no matter what anything. ."

Her eyes looked up to meet his, and she nodded once, a sigh escaping her. "OK."

Josh got up off the couch still holding onto Donna's hand, pulling her up to her feet. "Let's go to bed, ok." she shook her head no she wasn't ready for the dreams that could come tonight. "I think I will just sit her for a while."

She told him "I just need sometime alone, please Josh."

"Come on sweetheart, you need some sleep." he knew she wouldn't be able to sleep "Just let me hold you please."

"No, I can't" the tears began to well up again.

"Tell you what let me fix you a hot bath. How does that sound?" She nodded and he headed toward the bathroom. He just wanted to help her feel better. But until she was ready to open up there was nothing he could do. Josh started the water making a little hotter than normal and grabbed some of Donna's girly smell good stuff out from under the sink. Pouring the bubble bath into the water making it just how she enjoyed her baths, he lit the candles Donna had placed in the bathroom a while back. After grabbing her clothes from the bedroom, she could smell the lavender coming from the bathroom as she walked down the hall. "Thanks" it was so soft that he barely even heard her. He made sure she had everything she needed and shut behind him giving her some time alone to grieve. Josh went back into the living room and turned the television on, flipping thru the channels he found nothing good to watch. He cell phone started vibrating in his backpack.

"Lyman."

"Josh, its CJ, I was just calling to check on Donna. How is she doing?"

"To be honest, I'm not sure she has so much bottled up inside that honestly I'm worried about her." he quietly explained. "I don't know what to do to help her."

"Josh, the only thing you can do is be there for her and let her lean on you. You have to be patient she will open up in her own time. She is in shock and still trying to deal with what has happened. Has she ever told you anything about her family?"

He got quiet thinking back, in the six months that they had been dating or even the five years they had worked side by side. He never recalled her talking about her family. One thing that did come to mind was that when he would ask her if she was going home those few times they had gotten time off from their busy schedule. She had told him NO that she and her family were not close and she would rather stay with her Washington family. He also remembered that she never talked about her family she kept that part of her life private. "No," he finally answered CJ's question. "She wont talk about her family."

"Well she has us now. We are her family." CJ told him with conviction. "We love her me, Toby, Sam, Leo, all the assistants, the first family. Let her know she is not alone, okay?"

"I will, CJ. I know she'll appreciate it." He smiled thinking about all the people here in Washington that cared deeply for his beloved assistant. She would never be alone with this motley crew to take care of her.

"Well, I will let you go," she told him. "Josh?"

"Yes, CJ?"

"Take care of her?"

"Yeah. Thanks."

"Anytime, mi armoire"

Josh heard the bath water being drained from the tub and the bathroom door opened. Looking up he saw Donna standing in the hallway, her hair wet from her bath. She was wearing one of Josh's Harvard t-shirts she had taken while taking care of him during his recovery. She looked so beautiful standing there. Her beautiful blue eyes filled with sadness, it broke his heart to see her this way. Turning off the television and light her joined her in the bedroom, hoping she was finally ready to get some sleep.

"Think you can sleep now?" He pulled the covers back. Neither one of them spoke, as they climbed into bed. He pulled her close holding on for dear life wanting to make sure she felt safe in his arms. Kissing the top of her head, Donna snuggled closer into Josh's arms and waited for sleep to overcome her and the dreams to start. After holding her for a while he finally heard her breathing even out which meant she was finally asleep and now he could finally close his eyes.


	2. To go or not to go!

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters they belong to NBC and John Wells lucky ducks...I do however, own Peggy, Scott, and Isabella Moss...

Word of WARNING...I am posting this without a beta...I do not currently have one so please forgive the mistakes...if anyone is intrested in being a beta for meplease let me know..I could really use one...I am horrible with grammar...please review and be kind let me know if I should continue or if it's really bad and yes I know the grammar is bad...I am currently working on chapter 3 it should be up in a couple of days...here ya go I hope you like it...

Josh was jerked from a deep sleep by the thrusting of Donna's body her mind caught up in a nightmare. She was trying to get away from something or someone.

"NO, leave me alone, get away from me." "NO!"

Glancing at the clock he saw that it was only 1 am. It had taken a while for her to settle down and fall asleep.

"Donna, sweetheart wake up your having a bad dream." He rubbed her back gently trying to wake up from this horrible dream, he didn't want to startle her

"Come on sweetheart, you need to wake up."

Josh knew all to well what a nightmare could do, how it got caught up inside you and wouldn't let go.

"It's okay sweetheart, you are safe. I'm right here your safe, you need to wake up."

Donna's eyes jerked open, even though her eyes were opened she seemed somewhere far away. He continued to rub her back and softly talking to her, patiently waiting for her to calm down. He assuring her she was safe, and what ever monster she was running from could not hurt her. She had done this for him many a night, when he was recovering from the shooting.

"Josh?"

"I'm right here sweetheart. Do you want to talk about it?"

She shook her head no and pulled his arms tighter around her body.

"It might do you some good to talk about it." He didn't want to push her but he had to do something to help her.

"No," she said it so softly he barely even heard it. "Just hold me."

He kissed the top of her head and pulled her tightly into her arms.

Every time Donna closed her eyes she could see the monster in her mind. She felt safe in Josh's arms, but the image just wouldn't go away. Josh had no trouble falling back to asleep. She laid there for what seemed like forever, tossing and turning. She finally gave up grabbing her pillow and blanket and headed to the couch. She had some thinking to do, and there was no need to keep Josh awake.

Sadness, anger, and fear, weren't the only things she was feeling. She also felt relief. Relief that he was gone; he could no longer control her mind or her life. Her mind was racing a thousand miles a minute. The organizationally side of her took over; she needed to make some decisions. She had a one big make, What do to about Josh? She knew she had to go back to Madison. She wasn't ready to have him find out what she had buried so long ago, not like this. She knew she needs to tell him, she was afraid of his reaction. That he would leave, and no longer love her. It was tearing her up inside but she knew what she had do.

He opened his eyes slowly, blinking against the early morning sunlight coming in through the windows, bringing one hand up to rub at his eyes in an effort to clear away the cobwebs. It took him a few seconds to remember what had happened. He turned over, expecting to see her lying there asleep, or wide awake, staring up at the ceiling.

Instead he saw an empty pillow, an empty space where she should have been lying. He frowned, but realized that he shouldn't really have been surprised; after all, she'd tossed and turned for most of the night.

"Donna?" he called as he threw the covers off him, padding from the bedroom down the hall to the living room, expecting to be met by her voice calling to him, but meeting only silence. The couch was empty; its only occupants were a folded blanket and an unused pillow. He entered the kitchen, expecting her be sitting there drinking a cup of coffee she so desperately need to get moving in the morning. That when he saw it a piece of paper folded over and propped up against the coffee machine, which was already filled with coffee. His name was written on one side in familiar messy handwriting, he didn't want to read it, didn't want to see what she'd written, but knew that he had to.

The note, as it happened, was short and to the point. "I'm sorry; I have to do this alone."

He stared at it for what seemed like hours , but in reality it was only seconds before laying it back down on the cabinet "Oh Donna…" he whispered to himself, shaking his head, wondering why she'd done this, wondered what was so bad she couldn't or wouldn't let him in. She hadn't mentioned making any arrangements to him, when he asked if she was going back to Madison she shrugged her shoulders. He remembered her tossing and turning for a while, then he fell into a deep sleep. She must have gotten up not wanting to wake him. That must have been when she made her decision. That also would have been when, she packed and booked her flight this morning.

He was hurt by her decision but didn't want to dwell on that too much; he just wanted to be there. He needed to put his feeling aside and give her all his love and support. He knew that there was a story there, something she wasn't telling him. He'd seen in her eyes that she was scared of going home, and his heart had ached for her.

He made his decision; he would go after her checking the clock as he reached for the phone. Punching in a number he knew by heart, he prayed that she'd pick up quickly. "This had better be a matter of life or death," came the voice.

"CJ, it's Josh"

"Josh, what's wrong?" She was surprised to hear from him.

"How's Donna?"

"She left without me," he answered he held on to his temper knowing that CJ would kick his ass for being mad at her in her time of grief.

"What?" CJ was awake now. "What do you mean she's gone?"

"I mean she left sometime this morning without telling me…she's probably halfway to Madison by now."

CJ let out the breath she was holding. "Look, I will make some calls and see what I can find out. I'll check the airlines, and see if I can find out what flight she's may be on. Pack a bag and get yourself to the airport, I'll call when I find out anything."

"Thanks CJ you are the best friend a guy could have." Get a move on or you will never make it. Finally hanging up the phone Josh got started packing a bag for himself. He dressed quickly, pulling out a clean pair of blue jeans and the sweater Donna had given him for Christmas. That done, he headed straight for his Audi, getting to National at this time of morning could be a nightmare, he hoped traffic would cooperate.

He was on his way into the terminal when his cell phone rang, he looked at the caller Id it was CJ she hoped he had good news for him.

"Josh, she caught Northwest Flight 223 it left National at 6:25am she will change planes in Detroit and get into Madison at 9:14am."

"Don't panic," CJ reassure him. "I work miracles in my spare time. You're on Continental Flight 2308 you will change planes in Cleveland it puts you into Madison at 9:55 am. So your not that far behind her and should be able to catch up with when you get to Madison. You can pay when you pick up your tickets. I told them your wife's father passed away so they worked with me to get you on the flight. I will call the airport in Madison, and have a rental care waiting for you when you get there. One more thing Josh I managed to call in a couple of favors and find out that Donna is staying at the Crown Plaza. After that, it's up to you."

Josh breathed a sigh of relief. "CJ you're the best, I owe you one."

CJ chuckled. "Just take care of her Josh and I will consider us equal."

"Okay, I will have my cell phone if Leo needs me for anything" Josh said, hanging up the phone.

He managed to get through the line at the ticket counter quickly, he even made it through security without any problems. They were boarding when he arrived at the gate, he was beginning to feel as though maybe something would go right today. His flight actually took off on time, and was on time into Cleveland. His layover in Cleveland went smoothly and hopefully they would arrive in Madison on time. True to her promise, CJ had his rental car all taken care of for him. Picking up his cell phone he tired to call Donna, her voicemail quickly picked up. He left a frantic message, ask her to call him right away. He decided to leave out the part about him being in Madison. Josh had been to Madison once before with Donna, on a campaign stop and she had done all the driving.

The drive from the airport seemed like it took forever, finally he started seeing signs for downtown Madison. Realizing, that he didn't have a clue how to get to the hotel or even where Donna might be. He pulled into a gas station, for directions. The clerk was very helpful and it wasn't long before he was pulling into the hotel parking lot. He desperately wanted to see Donna, he need to make sure she was okay.

He quickly parked the car, and sent up a quick prayer she was still at there. He didn't want to have to face her family alone. After entering the hotel he quickly made his way to the counter.

"May I help you sir?" The blonde clerk asked him.

"I need to check in please." Josh asked anxiously "Could you tell me what room Donnatella Moss is in also?"

"I'm sorry sir, I'm not showing anyone with that name in my system."

"Are you sure?" "

"Yes, sir she hasn't checked in." the clerk looked at him confused. "Would you like to check in?"

"What? Yes, please." a worry in his voice. "There is a reservation for her here right?"

"I cant tell you that, it against our privacy regulations." The clerk was quickly getting aggravated with Josh. "Do you have a reservation?"

"Please just tell me if she has a reservation, I'm worried about her." he tried calmly explain to the clerk. We are here for her fathers funeral and she came in before me." "I need to find her so…please!" Giving her a look of desperation, dimples in full force. He hoped she would take pity on him.

"Sir, do you have a reservation?"

"Who me? No." He politely answered. "I didn't have time to make one."

"We have plenty of rooms." The clerk promptly got busy on the computer. "Let me see what I have available."

The rest of the check-in process went off without a hitch. "I'm sorry about your loss." As he turned to leave he saw her nod her head giving him the answer he so desperately wanted.

Give her a wide dimpled smile and a thank you he swaggered across the lobby of the hotel. He was a man on a mission, he grabbed a copy of Capitol Times and headed upstairs. Once he was settled in the room, he tried to figure out what to do next. He decided to see if the obituary could give him any information that would help him find Donna. He didn't even have to open the paper right there on the front page was an article about her fathers accident. Reading the article sent chills down his back. Not only had her father been killed in the accident, he had killed four other innocent people including two small children. The article claimed his blood alcohol level was four times the legal limit, he wondered if Donna knew this before she left. She must be devastated, just this fact alone made the need to find her more urgent. Is this what made her want to face this alone? Was she embarrassed?

Skimming a little farther in the paper he came across the obituary, glancing over it his heart sank. Reading further he became angry, how could her family do this to her? To his sweet Donnatella, what had she have done to make them hate her this much. They had left her any mention of his youngest child out of her fathers obituary. He thought maybe it was an error, he knew they were unhappy about her living in Washington DC. So far way from them. What ever the reason there was it was cruel. Dropping the paper like it had burned he stared out the window becoming more and more worried about his girlfriend. Saying a quick prayer that she was okay he quickly began looking for her parents address he had to find her give her the love and support she was going to need to get through the next couple of days.

After deplaning, Donna quickly got on the shuttle to pick up her rental car. After finding her rental car she got her self situated before making her way to her parents home. She wasn't even out of the parking lot yet and her hands were already beginning to shake. She had butterflies in her stomach she knew that her family wouldn't welcome her with open arms. Getting on the interstate she began to wonder why she even bothered coming back to Madison. Not knowing how her family would react, she was glad she made the decision to not bring Josh along. It would have made it a lot more difficult. Her family didn't care for Josh not just because he was her boss and never let her come home, but because he was a Democrat. If they only knew the real reason why she didn't come home. She believed that her mother knew the truth but was either to scared to do anything about it. Just didn't care, or didn't believe it was true. Either way her she was there and she had to do this. Confront her past and try and move on, that same nagging thought came back into her head, how would she tell Josh when she returned to DC. Getting closer to her parents home Donna couldn't stop the her hands from shaking. She picked up her cell phone wondering if she should call Josh, deciding against she put it back down. She didn't know if he would even talk to her after the way she left. Once again her mind went back to Josh, she picked up the phone and dialed the apartment. Hoping he was still there, it rang several times before the answering machine picked up. Hanging up she figured he was at work. But she didn't know who would answer the phone at the White House. She really didn't want to talk to anybody but Josh at the moment she decided again that also. She could call and leave a message on his cell phone but what if he picked up. Hearing his voice would just make her feel worse for what she had done leaving without a word. He was probably mad at her anyway, he put her phone back in her bag. Pulling into her parents drive way, she took in a deep breath. Sitting there for what seemed like forever she finally got the courage to get out and walk up to the door.


	3. Family Reunion

Disclaimers: I do not own these characters they belong to NBC and John Wells...

I would like to say a special thank you to Jenni for taking on the task of Beta...

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Just as Donna was about to open the door to go in, she saw a figure standing on the inside of the doorway. 

"Donnatella, what are you doing here?" The anger in her sister's tone told her all she needed to know. "We don't want you here."

"You need to leave, mom doesn't need the stress of having to deal with your lies and accusations."

Just as Donna was about to reply she heard her mothers voice.

"Isabella, who's at the door?" Her mother walked up looking older than her years. Standing face to face with her youngest child, Peggy Moss turned and walked away.

"Leave Donnatella, we don't want you here." slamming the in Donna's face. The disgust in her sister's voice told her what she already knew - that she wasn't welcomed there.

Walking down the steps, she wondered if coming back to Madison was a mistake. Did her brothers, grandparents and other family members feel the same way? Maybe she truly was an outcast to her family, the black sheep.

Holding back threatening tears, she made her way to her rental car and started driving. Unsure of her destination, she felt like she was going around in circles. Without even noticing, Donna ended up in a familiar small park. She had come here a lot when she was young and considered it a safe place. Sitting down on the swings, she still questioned why she came back to Madison. Deep in thought, she was startled when someone taped her on the shoulder. Before turning around she said a prayer that Josh standing there.

"I thought you would come here, Tella" Shocked she turned around to she her brother Scott.

He was the only one allowed to call her that; after all, he gave it to her when she was born. Trying to hide her disappointment, she stood up and gave her big brother a hug.

"Wow, your disappointment hurts" Scott said, trying to sound wounded. "Not who you were expecting?"

"How did you know I was here?"

"I saw you when you walked up on the porch at the house, through the upstairs window." In an attempt to keep the conversation light, "We used to have a lot of fun at this park." He smiled "We spent many summer days and nights here. This is where David Keller kissed you for the first time, isn't it?"

He loved teasing his sister about that, remembering the day she came home with that dreamy look in her eyes.

"This is where you lost your virginity to Sarah," she teased back. "Didn't you propose to her here?"

He shook his head yes, remembering the good times he and Donna had together. He also knew that this is where his sister would come when things got bad at home.

"Do you remember the very last time we were at this park?" he gently asked.

"Oh, how could I forget?" the smile fell from her face. "I had just had a big fight with mom and dad, and they called you to come and talk some sense into me."

She had tried so hard to forget that day five years ago. "That was the day I left and joined the campaign." When she quit the campaign and came back to Brian, she never called her parents and told them she was back.

"They don't want me here Scott." her voice full of hurt.

"I know kiddo, but you have to understand they're hurting too." He spoke softly, "They don't know what they are saying."

"Why did you even call me? Scott."

"I thought you had a right to know, to be here, and say good-bye."

"How's Washington?" he tried to distract by talking about other things. "How's Josh?"

He was her noisy big brother too, the one who still cared about what went on in her life. He was the one she called when things went right in her life. He was the person from Madison and her family that she had kept in contact.

"Washington's great, and Josh is wonderful." Her Washington family and Josh were all she had now, and that seemed unsure. Well, she still had Scott but figured Michael would stick by mom - he was always a momma's boy.

"Did Josh come with you?"

A quiet "No," was Donna's answer.

"I guess he couldn't get away from Washington." Her brother was sensing trouble in paradise. "The president probably could spare him for a couple of days."

Donna's head fell in shame; she had never lied to her brother. Why start now?

"Tella," Scott prodded gently. "What's going on?"

"Josh is still in Washington, because I left him there," tears welling up in her eyes. "Oh Scott, I didn't give him a chance to come." She told him the story of how she left before Josh ever got up, leaving him just a note. She explained that she was afraid of what would happen if Josh knew her secret.

Pulling his sister into a tight hug, he held on to her, letting the tears fall. He knew this was going to be hard on her, but he didn't realize how hard.

"Tella, have you called him since you got here?" Scott asked, always the big brother. "You should at least let him know you are okay, he's probably going out of his mind with worry."

"I can't, not yet." Donna wiped quickly at her tears. "He's probably angry at me anyway. I will just take my punishment when I get back to D.C."

"Well think you should call him, he loves you and will understand." He encouraged her to call Josh. "You do what you think is right, just think about it okay?"

"Don't you have get back to mom, and the family?" she asked, desperately trying to change the subject. "They are probably wondering where you went."

"Don't worry kiddo, Sarah's covering for me. She sends her love and wants to see you while you are here You should see the kids they are so big, can you believe that Matthew is going to be six in two weeks? And, Megan just turned two! Sarah wanted me to tell you that you are welcome to stay at the house with us."

"Thanks but I'll just stay at the hotel. I'll be more comfortable there."

"Okay, suit yourself, but you're welcome at our house and I don't care what mom says. What hotel are you staying at?"

"I'm at the Crown Plaza and still need to check in. In fact I should probably get going." She needed sometime by herself.

"Yeah, I probably get back. More than likely, they're looking for me now." He knew she was hurting, and he didn't want to let her go just yet. She needed him right now. "Do me a favor okay?"

"What?" A small smile appeared on her face, he always knew how to make the hard times better.

"Come over for dinner one night okay? Spend some time with your niece and nephew."

"I'll call you, just let me get settled okay?" She knew he would be mad if she didn't.

"Okay deal." He smiled back at her.

Going their separate ways, Donna turned around and called his name.

"Did I make a mistake coming here?" She needed an answer and knew he would be truthful with her.

"No, I wouldn't have called if I thought it would have been." was his reply.

"Love you." Donna called out as she got into her car.

"Love you too Tella." He doubted she heard him, but it felt good to say.

Driving to the hotel Donna gave some thought to what Scott had said about Josh. Before long, she was at the hotel. She grabbed her bags and headed inside. As she walked through the lobby, she looked up to see a man who looked a lot like Josh standing at the counter. "No," she thought to herself "that can't be Josh." As she got closer, the man turned around, and Donna got the shock of her life.

"Josh?"

Without speaking another word, he pulled her into a hug and held on to her.


	4. Josh's love

Disclaimers: I do not own any of these characters they belong to John Wells, Aaron Sorkin and NBC, with the exception of Scott, Sara, Debra, Isabella, James, Mary and Grandma Moss...

Author Notes..Thank you so much to Jenn the best beta a writer could ask for...I am sorry for the delay...I have had a bad case of writers block...Hopefully I will have another chapter to you soon! Please keep up the reviews you have been my encouragement...I hope you enjoy this chapter:

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"I'm sorry," she found herself whispering over and over again. "I'm so sorry…"

She hoped he would accept her apology, she knew she owed that much to him. She also knew that he would want an explanation, but didn't know where to start. Josh didn't ask for an apology, he just held onto her, rubbing her back, stroking her hair, murmuring that everything would be okay. For the first time in a long time, Donna let herself believe it.

After standing for what seemed like lifetime, she finally got the courage to lift her head to look at him again.

"You're here," she whispered, looking into his eyes as he smiled down at her.

"Like I'd be anywhere else," he responded. She relaxed in his arms, his words and action combed told her that even if he was angry, he wasn't going to call her on it now.

"Thank you," she whispered, loosening the embrace, but holding on to his hand - she needed that connection. As they rode the elevator, a comfortable silence overcame them. .

Entering the room Donna sighed deeply, but remained quiet. Walking over to the window, she watched the Madison sunset. So many things were going through her head, but deep in her heart, she was glad Josh was there.

Josh wondered if she saw her family and if she had seen the obituary. She would be devastated, why would her family do this to her?

"They don't want me here." He was pulled out from his thoughts. "My family doesn't want me at my own father's funeral." She refused to let the tears fall.

"C'mere," he whispered, pulling her into his arms. She went willingly, wrapping her arms around his waist. His hands settled on her hips, holding her gently as he kissed the top of her head. He didn't know how long they were standing there before he shifted slightly, nodding towards the bed. "C'mon, you need to lie down."

"I don't need to lie down," she protested. "Didn't you hear me Josh?" the anger steadily growing in her voice, "My family doesn't want me here – I've been disowned!"

"You don't have to sleep?" He tried to coax her into laying down. He knew that after last night's nightmare, she was probably afraid of sleeping.

"OK, but will you hold me?" He led her to the bed, where she kicked off her shoes.

He did the same, before lying down side by side, his arms around her, her head on his chest, right over his heart. She traced the scar on his chest through under his shirt. He could feel her relax as he ran his fingers through her hair, and she murmured softly, "I can't believe you followed me here."

A comfortable silence fell over them as they snuggled on the bed.

Josh wondered what had happened between Donna and her family. As desperate as he was for answers, he didn't pry - now wasn't the time, and if he pushed she would shut down. It was something she had learned from him.

Donna finally spoke. "I saw my brother Scott today. I think he's the only one happy to see me." She told him about her visit with Scott and the fight with her mom and sister.

"Are you going over there for dinner?" Josh didn't want push, but offered encouragement to go. "You should. I'll go with for support." he offered.

"I don't know." She was starting to with drawl again. "Let me think about it."

"Okay," was Josh's quiet reply.

Once again silence overtook them. A short time later he could tell that her breathing had evened out which indicated she was asleep. He pulled the covers over her, "Sweet dreams Donnatella." and leaned over, kissing her softly.

"NO! DADDY…NO!" Donna was in the midst of a nightmare. "Stop…Please don't. Daddy please!"

Josh awoke with Donna's screaming. He rubbed her back like he did the night before, gently, but easing her awake without startling her.

"Donna, come on sweetheart it's only a dream. You're safe, I promise." Josh kept his voice low and calm. After a few minutes, Donna finally opened her eyes.

"Josh?" her eyes were open but she was not fully awake.

"Yeah, I'm right here." Josh took her into his arms and held her tight against his body. "Want to talk about it?"

Shaking her head no, she buried her face in his chest and let the tears fall. After crying for a few minutes, she wiped away the tears. "I'm okay," she said, though she wasn't sure who she was trying to convince, herself or Josh.

"I'm a good listener," he tried to get her to open up. "It might help the nightmares go away."

"I can't!" she pleaded.

"Whatever you want, I'm here for you." he said, trying not to sound too pushy. "Let's try to get some more sleep."

"Hold me." was her quiet response.

He pulled her close and waited for her breathing to even out before finally falling into a deep sleep.

The ringing of the phone woke Josh from a deep sleep.

"'Ello!" Josh answered sleepily.

"Morning!" CJ's voice scared the hell out of Josh.

"CJ, what's wrong?" Josh was fully awake now.

"Josh, calm down, I was just calling to check on Donna."

"Oh," he said after finally calming his rapid heartbeat.

He told CJ about Donna's visit with her family, including the visit with her mother and sister. He also mentioned the newspaper article and the obituary. CJ knew that things between Donna and her family were strained, but never this much.

"Why are they doing this to her?" anger growing in CJ's voice. "Donna's a wonderful person, and to treat her like this pisses me off."

"I know, I wish I she would talk to me. She's hiding something and has nightmares." I'm really worried CJ.

"Josh, I have a briefing to get to." CJ was worried not only about Donna, but also about Josh. "Give her our love and tell her to call if she wants to talk. We're here if she needs anything. We care about her, so you better take care of her Josh."

"Thanks CJ."

"Bye Josh."

"Who was on the phone?" a sleepy Donna asked.

"It was CJ," Josh wondered how much of their conversation she heard. "Everyone sends their love and call if you want to talk."

"That was sweet of her," Donna obviously taken back by CJ's kindness.

"I'm going to jump in the shower," Josh told her grabbing his clothes he headed to the bathroom. "Call room service and order some breakfast."

Donna grabbed the phone and called down and placed her order. Sitting on the bed she spotted the newspaper on the desk. Picking it up she read the article about her father's death. She couldn't believe what she was reading; he had killed four innocent people along with himself. "He must have started drinking again…" she thought. Since she never talked to her family, she wouldn't have known. She was sure her mother and siblings blamed her, well not Scott. Of course, she was blamed for everything that happened in the family. She finished the article and thumbed through the rest of the paper. Coming across the obituary her hands began to shake as she read it.

Paul Moss, age 56, died due to injuries sustained in an auto accident. Mr. Moss was an insurance agent with Moss and Moss Insurance Agency in Madison. He is survived by his wife of 20 years. Debra. He is also survived by one daughter and son-in-law: Isabella and John Scott of Madison; two son's and daughter in-laws - Scott and Sarah Moss and James and Mary Moss of Madison; along with five grandchildren, two brothers, one sister, his parents, and six nieces and nephews. Visitation will be on Wednesday from 4-8 pm at Gunderson Funeral Homes. The funeral and burial service will be Thursday at 10am at the First Methodist Church.

There was no mention of Donna at all. Why would her family do that to her?. She knew the answer, but didn't want to accept it. She wondered if Josh had seen this, and if so, why he didn't say anything.

"Shower's free," Josh called from the bathroom.

The sinking feeling in the pit of Josh's stomach told him something was wrong when Donna didn't acknowledge him. Rushing to her side, he saw the paper in her hands. Grabbing the paper away, he pulled her into a hug. Her whole body shook from the shock, and seeing that her legs were about to give way, Josh guided her to the bed.

"It's okay, I'm right here sweetheart." It broke his heart to see her upset.

She finally gave into the tears that were threatening to fall, her sobs coming in large gasps for air. She calmed down after a few minutes. Pushing her away slightly, Josh looked into her blue eyes. What he saw made him sad, her anger given way to hurt and sadness.

"What's today?" she asked out of nowhere.

"Tuesday." he answered. "Why?"

"The visitation is tonight and the funeral is tomorrow." she continued. "If you can't stay that long I understand. I don't want to keep you from work. I know it's important."

For a minute he wondered if she was making an excuse to go back to Washington, maybe she didn't think she should stay.

"I'm here as long as you need me." he reassured her. "But if you don't want to go I understand, we can head back to DC." He wanted it to be her decision. "I think you should stay and say good-bye, but it's up to you. I don't want you to regret it later."

Unsure of what she wanted to do, Donna buried her head farther in Josh's chest and held on.

"My family doesn't want me around, they don't love me. Maybe I shouldn't be here."

"Donna, look at me, you have every right to be here. He was your father too; I don't know what happened between you two, but you have every right to say good bye to him just as they do." Josh hated what her family was doing to her.

"I'm going to grab a shower" Donna said and stood quickly, heading toward the bathroom and leaving Josh dumbfounded. He was worried about her more now than before.

Once he heard the bathroom door close and shower start, Josh picked up his cell phone.

"Hey, it's me," Josh quietly spoke.

"Josh what's wrong?" The person on the other end was surprised by the call.

"I need a huge favor," Josh explained to the mystery caller what he need done. After making sure everything was taken care of, he thanked the other person and disconnected the phone.

Donna emerged from bathroom wrapped in only a towel; Josh couldn't take his eyes off her.

"Hey sexy," he teased.

"Hi," her voice filled with sadness.

"What time do we have to be at the funeral home?"

Donna was unsure of how to answer that question; she knew her family would not want her there. But she had to go; she had to know he was really gone.

"It starts at four," Josh told her. "We don't have to do this if you don't want to."

"I have to. I have to know he's gone for good." Donna's tears began to fall again.

"Well first you are going to eat something." Picking up the phone Josh ordered room service.

The rest of the afternoon went by in a blur for the two. After eating lunch, they set out to the mall to find Josh a suit for the funeral. Before Donna knew it, the time had come for her to go say her good bye to her father.

Taking a hold of Josh's hand, the two made their way to the elevator, and down to the car.

"You okay?" he asked with concern

She nodded, but didn't give him a real answer.

The drive to the funeral home was short. Taking a deep breath Donna didn't know what to expect, but hoped her mother and sister wouldn't make a scene.

Grabbing a hold of Josh's hand they made their way up the steps and to the door of the funeral home.


	5. Meeting the family

Disclaimers: I do not own any Josh or Donna they belong to Aaron Sorkin, John Wells and NBC...but I do own Deb, Isabella, Scott, James and Sarah Moss...

Iwould like to say a special thank my beta Jenni...you are the best..thank you for keeping me sane and helping me fix my mistakes...I would also like to say thanks to all those who gave reviews...You have kept me writing when I wanted to just give up...Please keep em coming...I hope you enjoy this chapter...

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They were early for the visitation, but it seemed as if all of Madison had congregated inside the funeral home.

Her parents' friends and co workers stared and whispered as Donna and Josh made their way inside. Donna wondered where her family was. Through a crack in the door she could see her mother and sister standing next to the casket holding on to one another. She could also see her two brothers and sisters-in-law talking and felt as though she was intruding. A tall gentleman with gray hair approached them.

"May I help you?" He asked kindly.

"We are here for Paul Moss's visitation." Josh tired to keep his voice down. "I'm Josh Lyman and this is Paul's youngest daughter Donna."

"I'm sorry for your loss. I'm Dave Gunderson, the funeral director. Would you like to join your family."

"No, that's okay I'll wait until they're done." Donna spoke for the first time since entering the funeral home.

"Okay, well if you'll excuse me, I'm going to see if the family is ready for the public viewing." He made his way toward the parlor where the grieving family was located.

It wasn't long before the doors to the parlor opened, allowing grieving family and friends inside.

"You ready?" he asked in a gentle voice.

The shaking of her head gave him his answer.

"Okay, take your time." He would let her decided when she was ready.

Looking into the room once again, she could see her brothers, sister and mother standing next to the casket greeting mourners. The two boys dressed in dark suits and ties. Her breathe caught as she looked up and came eye to eye with her brother James.

For the briefest of moments, she considered turning around and running. She even opened her mouth to suggest it to Josh, but before she could, Scott approached pulling her into a tight hug.

"It'll be okay," he whispered in her ear.

Looking over Donna's shoulder, Scott could see Josh giving him a questionable look.

"Scott Moss, Donna's older brother." He pulled away from Donna and stuck his hand out to Josh. "You must be Josh Lyman."

"Yes, its nice to meet you," Josh could see the resemblance . "I'm sorry about your loss."

"Thanks, when did you get in?" a confused Scott asked.

"Earlier today," Josh wondered what Donna had told Scott.

"You ready to go in 'Tella?"

Josh gave Donna a questioning look.

"I'll explain later," she whispered. She nodded her head yes.

Josh took Donna's hand and they entered the viewing room. A few feet in Josh felt Donna suddenly stop.

"Hey, you okay?" He pulled her to him and put his arm around her waist.

Shaking her head no, he could feel her body tremble.

"Scott, give us a minute okay?" Nodding he walked off in search of his wife.

"We don't have to stay," He whispered in her ear.

"I have to do this," her voice filled with unshed tears.

"Okay, but remember I'm right here." He squeezed her hand.

Gathering the courage, Donna and Josh walked the rest of the way into the parlor. Her mother was busy talking to someone, her sister was crying on her husbands shoulder, and Donna didn't see her brother James anywhere.

As they approached the casket, Donna couldn't hold her tears back any longer. She finally released her pent up tears. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see her mother approaching.

"Oh God, I don't know if I can do this." She gripped Josh's hand tighter.

But before her mother made it over to where the couple was standing, Donna's grandmother jumped up and approached the couple.

"Donna sweetheart," The older lady enveloped her in a hug. "Are you okay? And who is this handsome man?"

"Grandma, this is Josh Lyman - my boyfriend and boss." Donna introduced her grandmother to Josh.

"Nice to meet you ma'am." Josh gave Donna's grandma a quick hug. "I'm sorry for your loss."

"Thank you young man."

"Grandma I'm not sure I should be here." Donna's voice broke.

"Nonsense my child you have every right to be here. He was your father no matter what problems you may have had."

"But my mom and Isabella don't want me here." Donna interrupted her grandmother. "Scott is the one who called me and I'm not sure about James."

Just as her grandmother was about to say something both Donna's mother, sister, and brothers approached the group. .

"Donna," her mother acknowledged with distain in her voice. "I see you brought another loser with you."

"Josh Lyman, ma'am" Josh introduced himself.

"I don't care who you are, I want you two to leave right now."

"Ma'am, with all due respect, Donna has every right to be here, and we are not leaving." Josh was trying his best to hold his anger.

"Stay out of it, you know nothing." Deb Moss's voice filled with anger. "What lies has she been telling you?"

Josh could feel the anger building.

"Deb, this is not the time nor the place to hash up old wounds." The elder Moss stepped in. "Let her be to grieve in peace."

"Stay out of it Sarah, I don't want her here." Deb's voice grew louder. "She doesn't deserve to be here."

Hearing the commotion, Donna's brothers knew they needed to do something quick. They knew that their mother had a quick temper and this could get out of hand quickly, but before either could act, their mother spoke again.

"You don't belong here Donnatella!" Deb's voice full of anger. "You are an ungrateful little slut. Did you tell all your friends at the White House about how your father touched you.? That you were an abused child?" Her mother's voice was raising quickly. "Are you sleeping your way around the White House? Did they feel sorry for you because your family was so mean to you? Get out of my face you ungrateful little bitch."

By now everyone in the funeral home was quiet, members of Donna's family stood there stunned.

Donna couldn't catch her breath, she felt like the whole room was closing in on her. Without a sound she bolted to the door, running from the horrible things her mother had shouted at her, from the horrible memories of the past. She knew where she could go to be safe, it's the one place that she always felt safe.

"Who do you think you are? Talking to her like that?" Josh's voice was rising steadily. "You are not a mother you're a monster. Let me tell you a few things, when she first joined the campaign she was this naive girl from the Wisconsin but over the past six years she has grown into this wonderful amazing woman. She is confident, loving, has the biggest heart of any five people. Not to mention she works thirty feet from the oval office and the President of the United States, she is looked upon by some of the most important in politics." Josh knew this may get him trouble but he could careless. "Donna has never told me anything about what happened between you. She doesn't deserve you as family, Washington is the best place for her. You treat her like dirty well guess what not any more. "

Walking toward the door, Josh saw Scott coming toward him.

"Did you find her?" A worried Josh asked.

"No, But I know where she may have went." Scott grabbed Josh's arm as he bolted for the door. Scott knowing his sister well, knew where she would be.

"She is at a little park over by where we use to live." Scott gave Josh directions to the park and a piece of paper with his phone numbers and address on it. "Call if you need anything, okay?"

The sun was beginning to set when Josh pulled up at the park. Donna was sitting on the swings her face in her hands. He knew she was probably crying he just wished she could have been there when he told her mother off.

"Hey," he said softly not to spook her.

"Hey." She looked up, giving him a small smile.

"You okay?" He already knew the answer to that. "Want to talk about it?"

Donna just shrugged her shoulders.

"I'm here when your ready." He could see the tears stains streaking down her face, and it broke his heart. "What ever you tell me is not going to change the way I feel about you. I love you Donna, no matter what."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that," her voice was shaky. "I'm sorry, Josh, truly. I never meant to drag you though all the garbage of my past."

"Hey, I'll have none of that. Your past is not 'garbage.' It made you who you are. So, while I hate that something bad happened to you, I love how you turned out."

Josh took the swing next to hers and held out his hand for her to hold. Sitting in the quiet for what seemed like eternity, Donna finally broke the silence.

"I love you Josh, no matter what." Her voice was shaky. "I will understand if you don't want to be with me anymore."

"What?" A worried Josh asked. "Don't say that I'm not going anywhere okay no matter what.

"I'm ready to tell you." Donna's voice was determined. "If we're going to be in a relationship you need to know about this, why I am the way I am."

Standing she grabbing Josh's hand pulling him up out of his swing. "Lets go over there by the big Oak tree. This is going to be a long story and these swings are uncomfortable." Josh followed Donna, sitting down he pulled her into his lap giving her the hug she so desperately needed.

Taking a deep breath, Donna steadied her voice for what she was about to tell Josh.


End file.
